I can't keep using him as a comfort blanket and human shield, and however much I think I love him, there's only one way of finding out what life would be like without him. I've got to make myself walk away, to find out if I can live without him.
I've been carrying Valentina's card around in my bag for days. I take it out and have another look at it. It is heavy and unyielding in my hand. Feeling treacherous, I dial the number. The answering machine clicks in. Of course it's night-time and weekend, what was I thinking? I leave a message.
The following morning I wake early. The divan gives way under my weight. It must be twenty years old, so the springs have given up. A comfortable sitting position doesn't work. When I lean back, the whole thing rolls away so I slide down in the gap between the bed and the wall.