We used to eat eggs a few times a year, but now they are everywhere, emerging from the nation’s farms at an alarming rate, seventy-five billion per year. Citizens must eat as many as we can. It is our patriotic duty. We must put them into all of our meals, all of our batters and bread and spreads and sauces, our breakfasts, on top of our meat or under it, inside our sandwiches, into all our snacks one way or another, our power bars and chocolate. But still that won’t be enough. Still more eggs are coming, piling up on the belts, leaving the farms, assembling on the grocery shelves, into refrigerators, more and more and more. We must soldier on, find other ways to consume them. We must put them on our faces, in our hair. We could grind up the shells and make toothpaste. We could build rocket ships and shoot the yolks off into space, small suns, we could explode them and smear the across a daylight sky.