‘I once did something,’ I say, laying the knife down beside the lamp. ‘I did something and it hasn’t gone away.’ I turn and look at her and see she’s tense. I know I have to warn her about who I’m afraid of and who I am. Because once Victor did what he did to Janine, fear became second nature to me. She knows I’m not responding appropriately; I should be more alarmed. But I’m dulled by the forgetting and the running.

‘I got involved with a client of mine a few years ago, and in the beginning I thought could exert an influence over him. But it worked out differently ....’