He longed to spice up his sex life, but Keith interpreted every suggestion as a criticism of what had gone before. Thinking he had hit on the perfect analogy, he compared it to trying out a new recipe, which Keith had wilfully misread as an admission that he wanted 'fresh meat'. He refused to settle for Saga Holiday sex when he could still hold his own at Club 18-30. If only Keith would give him a sign that an orgasm was more than a prelude to a conversation about curtains; if only he would not descibe making a pass as 'hitting below the belt' or inform him, as he switched off the light, that he was 'in the mood for a nice cuddle'; if only he didn't make romance seem as unappetising as a choice between green beans and courgettes.