My pride evaporates on the way back to the Brendels'; I feel sordid and cruel. Johannes is waiting for his girlfriend, Frieda has probably prepared dinner, but Maria is sated in every respect. I don't understand how I can deceive these people who have taken me in so warmly, the Brendels. I'm utterly ashamed of myself, but I cannot regret what I have done.
Luckily Johannes is still working in one of the pastures when I get home. But it will be dark in half an hour at most, hardly long enough to wipe the rapture from my face. I saw it myself in the mirror, and Henner said, 'You look completely different, Maria. Much more beautiful.' I wonder whether here on the farm they'll notice it too. But they don't, and in some way that eases my conscience. And yet their cluelessness almost maddens me. Only Alfred's noticed it.